


moonchild, don't cry

by undernightlight



Series: Music Inspirations [6]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Cute, Love Confessions, M/M, Nygmobblepot, Romance, season 5, slightly OOC, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18347960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Edward Nygma is reluctant when a plan to help reunification seperates him and Oswald. There isn't anything he can do but tell Oswald to come back alive.





	moonchild, don't cry

**Author's Note:**

> This ended up being longer than I first intended, but I really like how this turned out. Also, forgive any canon mistakes, I haven't actually seen season 5 (for 4 or 3 but I'm over halfway through season 2), and any grammatical mistakes too. And this might seem a little OOC, but I don't think so, like, I can hear it in their voices so I think it's fine.
> 
> Also, the title comes from the song Moonchild - RM, and I recommend listening to it, in context to the fic or not, it's just a really good song.

It would be preferred if this wasn’t the only way to sort the problem out, but any other option or opinion or plan had been dismissed; this was the only way for reunification. They had to stop the bomb, had to get the city under control and then convince the government to allow them to rejoin the mainland, but to deal with the bomb first.

Edward Nygma was against the plan, but he knew splitting into two groups was the only way. It just seemed far too risky yet it was the safety way to go about it. He hated it. They’d been divided depending on their skills and what they’d be needing to do. He didn’t fully trust those he was ensuring would keep him alive, but he knew that to get through it, they all had to work together. After, they could all go their separate ways. He pulled his glasses off his face to wipe them.

“Does it all look in order?” Ed startled at Oswald’s voice, tensing up before turning to him.

“Must you sneak up on me like that.”

“I didn’t sneak Edward, you were just too distracted to notice my presence.” Oswald approached, and with the limp his had, there was no way he could’ve snuck up on Edward even if he’d tried.

He put his glasses back on, pushing them up the bridge of his nose with his finger. “To answer your question, everything looks fine. The plan will succeed.”

“That’s the most confidence you’ve had about this plan from the beginning.”

Ed let out a sigh, shaky, “It has to succeed.”

Oswald was split to the other team - team seemed a bit to juvenile for the circumstances but Ed couldn’t think of a better word at the time. They would have a strong fight ahead of them, and Oswald always fought with such aggression and ferocity like his life depended on it, and it often did. This was no exception. 

Despite being at each other’s throats on more than one occasion, Edward really did care for Oswald. He was his first real friend, the first one that really saw him and accepted him, and encouraged him to embrace all that he was. Oswald was being put in great danger and that didn’t sit well with him.

“You seem nervous my friend,” Oswald said, now by Edward’s side. He let a small laugh float through his words

“I wish I wasn’t.” It was just them, no one else around to see or hear, and in situations like that, Ed didn’t mind being just a little bit vulnerable; Oswald didn’t judge him, only understood. “You can’t pretend you’re okay with all this?”

“With what?”

“Oswald, you’re chances of survival...are far lower than ideal.”

“And what would be ideal?”

“That you're guaranteed to come back alive.”

The shorter let out another chuckle, sounding just as forced as the last. “If only it was that easy. We’re all at risk, yourself included don’t forget that.”

“Not as much as you.”

Oswald leaned back against the desk that was placed in the room and Ed looked at him. There was something written across his face that Ed had seen before, but he couldn’t quite remember when or where or why, or what it could mean. A silence filled the air, and it was painful, at least on Edward's part. He couldn't tell what Oswald was thinking, but he was definitely thinking about something if the look on his face was anything to go by. Ed would've really like telepathy at that point. 

Jim Gordon appeared a moment later in the doorway, his head swinging in. “Ed, Oswald, five minutes.” And he was gone again.

Oswald pushed himself off the desk, his fingers slipping against the paper but he righted himself no problem adjusting his suit. Ed followed his actions, picking up his hat. He just held it in his hands, not yet putting it on, running his fingers along the brim and rotating it as he did so. 

“A nervous habit Edward?” Oswald commented. The lightness in his tone was unsettling. Ed knew Oswald had faced death many time, and he had seen it himself, and Oswald was never calm. He panicked and became a rush of emotion, as one would expect really. But now, with his jokes and smiles, it didn't sit right with Edward, and he had every intention of letting Oswald know. 

“How can you make a joke at a time like this?” He was clearly angry, his internalised wreck become more external. “We're going to die Oswald. We're going to risk our lives for a city that has never done anything good for us!”

“This is not a death sentence. I have every intention of returning.”

“Do you? It doesn't seem like that to me. You look like you've given up on the fight and it hasn't even begun. You think dying is the answer here? You think now is the time?”

Oswald dropped his gaze, a light chuckle escaping his lips. Ed couldn't believe it. Did he not hear anything he'd just said? Ed was ready to scream, but before he could, before he could make any sound, Oswald spoke. 

“I assure you, I am just as scared as you.” It felt foreign to outwardly acknowledge a vulnerability, especially one they shared and precisely at that moment, “And I assure Edward, that I would very much not like to die. But if that's what it takes to keep you safe, then so be it.”

If Edward had ever felt such a sharp contrast in his emotions before, he couldn't remember it. Oswald wanted to keep him safe. Air left Ed's lungs like a spider escaping water, and he felt like he was the one about to die. 

“I may never get a chance for this again,” came Oswald’s voice, snapping Ed back into what was unfortunately reality. And before he could fully comprehend the words Oswald had closed the gap between them, a kiss on his lips that emotion flowed through. He froze. He was an idiot and he froze. And then it was over, Oswald falling back onto the flats of his feet with a ghostly sad smile across his face. Then he turned and began walking away. 

“Oswald, you idiot,” Edward called after him, and as the short turned back around, Ed curled his fingers around the lapels of Oswald's jacket and pulled him close again. And Oswald was the one that then froze against Edward's lips, but only for a moment before he relaxed and remembered how to function. It was only short - they had places to be - but it held everything that needed to be said. But Ed, despite his fondness of riddles, didn’t want to leave any ambiguity, not at a time like this.

When they broke apart, Edward’s grip laxed, but he kept Oswald close. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I can assure you I’d rather be in danger with you, than safe without out.” And Oswald made a small chuckle again, but this time Ed didn’t find it frustrating or annoying, he even vaguely understood why Oswald did it as his gaze dropped. “I expect you to come back to me, alive and in one piece.” And if that wasn’t vulnerable enough, Edward needed to make sure the message got across clearly, “Please Oswald, come back to me.”

Another small laugh, but accompanied by a nod. “I cannot make you promises that I cannot keep.”

“Then lie to me. Tell me you’ll come back.”

It was silent again for a moment, both of them just looking and searching each other’s eyes, but neither knew what they were searching for. Then Oswald reached up, taking Edward’s hands and uncurling them from his jacket. “I’ll come back to you Edward, I promise you.”

“Alive.”

“Alive.”

Oswald let go and Ed’s hands dropped to his side, and then he left. Edward just stood there for a moment before bending down and picking up his hat - he didn’t even remember at what point he dropped it - dusting it off, and placing it on his head. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready before and he certainly wasn’t ready after that, but what choice did he have. It was time to risk his life for a city that never cared about him and for a man that he cared more about than himself. As much as he hated hearing that Oswald was willing to give up his life for him, Edward knew he felt exactly the same way, that he would go beyond the earth for the first person that really made him feel human.

He stood there for a few moments, composing himself, locking away anything that could create complications, before exiting the room.

# # # # # # 

Edward was pacing the floor waiting. Barbara had told him multiple times to stop, and he would, but only for a few moments before his feet started carrying him along the length of the space; she’d given up quite a while ago. They weren’t back yet, they hadn’t heard anything from them, and it was driving Edward insane. Did it work? Were they successful? They had no way of knowing yet, not until one of them made it back or the bomb didn’t explode. Hopefully the former would confirm that everything went well, and they weren’t just waiting around until flames and ash and rubble engulfed them.

After an agonisingly long waiting period, sounds were heard outside. Everyone that was sat down bolted from their seats, everyone who was pacing - which was only Edward - stopped, and they all rushed outside. The sight that greeted them was a mix of relief and concern.

Edward scanned through them but was yet to spot the one he was looking for. He stopped Bruce, who was walking with Selina, both looked exhausted and covered in dirt and blood. “Where’s Oswald?”

They looked up at him, and the silence was about to break him, but thank god for that rich kid, speaking before he let Ed run away with his thoughts. “He’s with the Captain. He’s...he’s hurt but he’s alive.” Ed abandoned them, in search of Gordon and Oswald, and he found them stumbling.

Gordon’s arm was wrapped around Oswald’s waist, keeping the shorter upright. They were both a mess, clothes missing and hair out of place, covered in grime. Oswald had an arm slung over the Captain’s shoulder, his other hand clutching his stomach. Ed was quickly by their them, fussing instantly.

“He’s been shot. Take him, I’ll get Lee.” The exchange was quick and smooth, and Edward took his injured friend with care. Gordon then left them, jogging off in search of the doctor, while the two were left to slowly make their way in that direction.

“I told you I’d come back alive,” Oswald managed.

“Barely. Though I appreciate it either way.”

Oswald’s hand, now over Ed’s shoulder, clenched around the fabric, and the taller took note, but wasn’t sure how to alleviate any pain. Luckily, Gordon reappeared with Doctor Thompkins by his side, and they rushed to get Oswald inside. They got him up on a metal table, what would be the makeshift surgery worktop. Lee asked about the bullet and Gordon relayed what he knew. Lee quickly saw it was still embedded in Oswald’s abdomen.

“I’ll have to take the bullet out. Jim, Ed, keep him steady, it looks deep. Oswald, this will hurt but I have to get the bullet out.”

Oswald looked closer to passing out than being conscious, but he managed weak nod. Gordon kept himself by Oswald’s feet, ready to hold down his legs if he started kicking, and Lee began sterilising her tools.

Any vague motion of Oswald being unconscious was thrown out the window when Lee started poking around in the bullet hole, the man letting out a scream. Jim clamped his hands around Oswald’s ankles but that didn’t stop his legs from twisting.

“Oswald, Oswald,” Ed repeated, trying to draw his attention away from the fact he was having metal implements poke around inside him, “Oswald I’m here.” If it wasn’t for the fact that Oswald was in immense pain, Edward wouldn’t dare even think of saying something quite so loaded around other people, especially not Jim Gordon, but Oswald needed him and he needed Oswald, so that called for exceptions.

The man on the table managed to turn his head to see him and Ed’s heart tore at the tears in Oswald’s eyes. Ed gripped onto Oswald’s hand, and the man squeezed so tight, Lee still fishing for the bullet. Eventually though, Lee pulled the red, shiny piece of metal from Oswald’s abdomen, and his body relaxed. Though his hold on Edward’s loosened, he didn’t let go, not even after he passed on.

“Now I need to treat the wound,” Lee said. “You can both go if you want.” Jim gave a nod, lent over to give her a gentle kiss on the cheek, before turning and leaving. Ed remained stood where he was but straightened out. He carefully placed Oswald's hand on the table by his side. As Edward stretched it out his hand, he noticed the small curved marks of red on his palm. He ran the fingers of the opposite hand across them and the blood smeared,

“There are bandages over there,” her voice cut through, and Ed looked up to Lee and to where she was pointing. He nodded and walked over, pulling open the draw to reveal basic medical supplies, including bandages and gauze and antiseptic. He began wrapping his hand as he walked back over to Oswald’s side. Lee was still working on fixing him up.

“I’ve never seen you quite like this.” Ed turned to Lee, the wrapping of his hand slowing. “You really love him, don’t you?” He didn’t say anything, words wouldn’t leave his mouth even if he wanted them to, but he didn’t. “Relax Ed, you don’t have to say it, I get it. It’s not an easy thing to say.”

“No… No it isn’t…”

“He’ll be alright.”

“I know.”

“But you’re still worried.”

“How could I not be? One tends to worry when they’re doomed to love a brilliant yet reckless maniac.”

Lee let out a huff of a laugh, “Don’t I know it.” She offered him a smile, one he returned weakly, though more out of obligation than actually wanting to.

It fell silent for a moment while Lee finished stitching up the bullet hole, and a few other small open injuries she’d found while patching him up. “Does…” Ed began, not quite finding the words yet, and hoping that whatever he said made sense, “Does it ever go away? The panic? I know Oswald is capable of looking after himself, more than capable, but… whenever he leaves my side, I worry something will happen. And even when he is with me, I can’t help but think I won’t be able to protect him.” He couldn’t bare to look at her, but who else could he ask? Jim? No. Barbara? Of course not. Lee made the most sense - she was in a relationship and they, sort of, you know - and he needed answers, anything that would help make sense of all that he was thinking and feeling.

“No, it never goes away,” she said. He turned to her. He couldn’t tell if what she said felt like getting stabbed by a blunt knife or the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders. No, it was the blunt knife. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear, not at all, but he wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting either. “But you get used to it.”

“Used to it? How long does that take, because I assure you, in all my time knowing him, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten used to it.”

“Not even when he tried to kill you?”

“Not even then,” and Ed couldn’t help but laugh a little. “When I first thought I’d killed him, it was like there was an emptiness in me. I thought it would pass but it never did. Even after I admitted it to myself. I only felt whole again when he was by my side, even if I knew he wanted me dead.”

“That probably isn’t healthy.”

“No. Not at all. But I’m sure me and Oswald aren’t exactly considered healthy.” Lee didn’t comment. “All I know...is that I need him. Whether I like it or not, but I know that I do, actually. I like it. And I like him. A lot.” He swallowed again, before slipping his glasses off his face and rubbing his eyes.

Lee walked round to him with a gentle smile. “He’s all patched up. I’ll leave you with him.” And she left. Edward turned back to Oswald, who still lay exactly where he was, still unconscious. With his glasses back on his face, Ed walked back over, his hand finally bound up, and he went about redoing Oswald’s shirt, adjusting the jacket that was still on his body. Though he’d seen Oswald without clothes, a long time ago, back when they first met, but it didn’t feel right to see him in such a state now. Ed tried to make Oswald look like he had when he’d left, as… Penguin as possible, but it hard. The fact that he was unconscious to begin with was enough to make him look out of character, but there wasn’t much he could do about that.

There was a chair across the other side, and Ed dragged it along the floor to place it by Oswald’s side. He took a moment, taking off his jacket, before sitting down. Loosening his tie, he slumped in the chair, figuring he’d be waiting a while for his friend to regain consciousness. He looked down at his bandaged hand, pressing into his palm. It hurt, stung a little, but it kept his mind occupied, at least a little bit.

# # # # # #

When Edward woke up, he didn’t know where he was for a moment, feeling groggy and his head hurt. After a moment, he realised he must’ve fallen asleep while he was waiting for Oswald. Oswald. His head snapped to the bed, and found he was met with Oswald’s back. He was sat upright facing away from him.

“Oswald?” He managed, his voice quieter than he expected, dry. Oswald turned and looked at him, and Ed only then noticed Doctor Thompkins was back. Oswald didn’t say anything, didn’t even smile, unlike Lee.

“I was just checking in on him. I’ll leave you two to talk.” And she left.

It wasn’t like Ed had anything he wanted to say, or knew how to say anything even if he did have something to say. Oswald hadn’t move from his seat on the table, but he’d turned back around away from Ed. The taller of them stood from his chair and walked round.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“I’ve felt better.”

“But you’re alive, and that’s what matters.”

Oswald just nodded. Ed had this feeling he was missing something, but what he had no idea. So he just stood there for a moment, not really sure what to do.

“I’m glad you’re alive Oswald. You… I was worried about you.” He pushed up his glasses as Oswald just sat there. “Is… did something happen? You don’t seem like yourself.” And finally eye contact was made, though it was quickly dropped on Oswald’s part, looking to his hands in his lap. “Oswald please-”

“I realised,” he began, interrupting Ed, but only managing those two words before stopping again. He took in a deep breath and Ed braced himself for whatever it could be, but it was hard to when he didn’t know what the impact would be like. “I realised that I didn’t want to die.”

Ed looked at him, confused, his mouth moving but with no sound. “Oswald… I don’t… did you want to die before?”

“No, not really, but I’d come to terms with it, accepted that I wasn’t coming back. I lied to you, like you told me to, to say I was coming back. But then I was out there and I just knew…” Oswald was clearly struggling and Ed didn’t know how to ease his discomfort. “I knew I didn’t want to leave you. Not because I wanted to protect you or be there for you - though I can assure you I do - but because I wanted to be selfish and have you all to myself.”

A tiny smile crept onto Ed’s face, but Oswald wasn’t looking and therefore couldn’t see, and maybe that was best. “You are allowed to be selfish Oswald. The world owes you that much, if not so much more.” He was hesitant as he raised a hand to Oswald’s arm, but despite his hesitations, he carefully rested his hand there, on his upper arm. When Oswald didn’t react, he ran a gently touch down downwards, slowly and calmly. “If it makes you feel better, I want to be selfish too… I want you Oswald.”

Oswald’s head snapped up, eyes wide. Edward couldn’t tell if it was the declaration or the vulnerability in his voice - he could hear it so clearly - though he was sure it was probably a combination of both. Ed leant in slowly, giving the shorter man ample time to pull away or push him off, but he didn’t and their lips connected. Oswald was taller when sat on the table, but Ed still had to crane his neck down to reach him. As the kiss lasted longer and it deepened, with the twisting of necks, Ed moved his hands to Oswald’s face, two fingers either side of his ear. He pulled Oswald closer and Ed felt him slide on the metal table. This was so different to their shared kiss before, but yet it felt that same. It felt right.

When they finally let their lips pull apart, Ed hovered close. And when he finally opened his eyes, expecting a smile on Oswald’s face that mirror his own, he felt his heart shake and shatter when Oswald’s eyes were still shut tight, his lips in a tight line, and tears down his cheek.

“Oswald, what’s wrong? Did I… did I do something wrong? Because if I did, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No Ed.” Oswald cut off his increasingly panicked rambling. He reached up and wrapped a hand around Edward’s wrist, eyes still tight, gripping on like his life depended on it. “You did nothing wrong.”

Ed moved his thumb across Oswald’s face, wiping them away. “Then… Why? What can I do to help? I want to help, please.”

“You are. I assure you, you are, I just…”

“What is it Oswald?”

The older of the two, still just holding on, absentmindedly playing with the buttons on Edward’s jacket sleeve, took a moment before he spoke speak. “It’d been so long since I’ve really thought I could be happy, that the mere though of you granting me such a foolish wish seems just impossible to believe.”

“It’s not foolish to wish for happiness. And if I can bring you that, then I’m happy too. And you make me happy. If it wasn’t for the fact we were stuck in Gotham, separated from the mainland in what is basically a war zone, then this would be perfect.”

Both managed out chuckles. Oswald lent into Edward’s touch then, using his hand to keep Ed’s against his face to keep the warmth as prominent as he could. But Ed slipped his hand away and around Oswald’s shoulders, both hands coming around him in a secure hold. It took Oswald a moment before his arms managed to find their way around his waist, and then his hands curled into the fabric of Edward’s black shirt. It was quiet, and Ed let his eyes slip closed as he held Oswald in his arms, his face turned inwards to Oswald. Neither moved when the silence was broken.

“I’m going to be selfish when I say this,” Oswald said, “But please stay with me. Please don’t leave me, and hold me whenever you can and tell me that you care because I’m going to need to hear it if I have any chance of really believing it. Please just lay with me and be a presence I can rely on.”

“I will do that Oswald, I promise. And I will do more. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you are the one I love.” Ed felt the smaller tense slightly beneath him, but he continued, “That you make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and that I wish to do the same for you because you deserve to be happy. I will hold you and tell you how important you are to me. I will tell you over and over again, so much so that you’ll get sick of hearing it. And I will lay with you for as long as you want. You can always rely on me Oswald because I love you.”

The tension in his friend dissipated into the air and instead, Oswald held on a little tighter. “I love you too,” was all he said in response but it was more than enough for Ed. He understood everything that went along with saying that, and Ed understood. He smiled, though Oswald couldn’t see, that only a while ago he couldn’t say it would loud, not to Lee anyway, but he could say it to Oswald.

Oswald always made things easier for him but also so much more complicated, and Edward wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I had a lot of fun writing this, so let me know what you think :)


End file.
